SHORT + ENOUGH

Today's post is something really dear and special to me. I started this blog because I felt like I didn't have a direction about what my real passions are and where they could possibly lead me. It represents a journey and a beginning that has been a long time coming. Because I didn't know exactly what I wanted to blog about, the name had to be crucial. It couldn't foreshadow a specific topic, but it could convey some sort of quality about me.

With my 4'-11" frame, I have always felt swallowed up and hidden by my clothes (especially pants), taller people, other individuals' ambitions, and by the world. It seems a bit dramatic, but that's how I felt. I've always also been quiet and soft spoken, so I felt invisible. I've actually had people literally not hear me even when I raise my voice. Or I'm standing a few feet in front of them, and they have no idea I'm right there (I will say perhaps some of it is attributed to my ninja-like qualities). Regardless, I've always felt that my short height had something to do with this invisible cloak that I inevitably had no choice but to wear. The idea of being invisible even though I was physically and mentally present made me really upset. Random people, and even some friends, have told me I can't achieve what I want to because of my height. Someone even told me I was too cute and tiny to become an architect while I was majoring in it. It infuriated me because there is no height pre-requisite to become an architect, a doctor, a barista, a consultant, a professional cat lady, etc.

"You are short."

The sad part about it all was that I began to believe their words even though it was actually RIDICULOUS. I had been told too many times that I was short (as if I already didn't know) and for some reason, I let that affect my self-esteem and confidence. Their false words had deeply impacted my thoughts and although it was a slow process, it was steady and it negatively affected my thinking. It started off with something simple. "Can I reach that?" Uhm, no. "Can I fit into those pants?" No, they're too long. "Between me and this person, would I be able to get the job?" No, they're taller and better looking than you. Uhm, WHAT. Does that make sense? NO. But I still believed it. I thought height and looks defined my skills because that's what the world seemed to care about. I let myself think that I couldn't achieve or succeed because I am short. It sounds absurd that such words could make their ways to my head, but others' opinions about me mattered. I attributed my failures to my height. I was just comfortable with blaming my height on everything that I didn't see that my lack of grit, determination, and intention was really the reason for my failures. I let it infiltrate every part of my life. In my mind, I just thought, "I'm short, I can't really do that anyways even if I tried."

You are enough.

Although I don't want to be defined by my height, there will always be people who will identify or recognize me as the "short girl" and I am learning to accept that. It took me years and years to realize that it's not a big deal. It's okay that I'm short and I have found some positives.

Every plane seat is basically first class to me. Endless leg room.
Student discounts, anyone? I could save a few bucks.
When I travel, I only always bring either a backpack or a carry-on luggage because my clothes aren't that big! (I'm also efficient).
Because I can't reach many things, I get other people to do it for me. Great! I'm lazy.
I usually buy kid's workout pants because they fit and they're so much cheaper. Funny how athletic wear is so expensive even though all you do is just sweat in them.
I don't have to duck if a tree branch is too low. I already trip on enough things, don't need to add branches into my path!

But after people meet me, I want them to realize that are other worthwhile qualities about me that are way more important than just my height.

You are enough (again - because it's not said enough).

Also, this blog is for ME. It is for ME to realize that all those people who said I couldn't get what I wanted are wrong. I'm here to prove not only them, but also myself, wrong. I CAN get what I want. Because it's not about my height, it's about what I want and what I'm willing to do to achieve it. I felt a little weird posting so many photos of myself on my Instagram, but I want to blog and I want to get an audience who wants to read my content. So I'm going to go all in and be unapologetic about it. I'm going to work hard to make something out of this blog and myself.

Perhaps you're having insecurities about your height, weight, hair, lack of confidence, inability to not trip on something, etc. I hope that this post will help show you that you're not the only one. Everyone has their issues. What you see as "lacking" is an unique characteristic that makes you, you. So this Valentines Day, whether you're with someone or not, learn to love yourself even more. You deserved to be loved as much as the person sitting next to you, the tall model you see in a magazine, the beautiful actress you see on television, the awesome coworker who seems to have it all, and the amazing friend who seems to be having such a lit life. Everything about you, even if it seems lacking to the world's outrageous (and stupid) standards, is enough. You are enough.